i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
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