Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
