Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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