They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
