But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
