you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
