It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
