i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
