It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
