You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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