I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
