It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
