I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize