She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Randomize
