I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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