got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
