wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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