just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize