i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm too high and old for this...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
