Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
