The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
