I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Randomize
