Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
