i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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