is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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