im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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