So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
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Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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