I like my sex mixed with concussions.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
