Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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