Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter

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(847): View more from Illinois

i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song

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(650): View more from California

You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...

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(407): View more from Florida

I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.

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(256): View more from Alabama

Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.

Fav 4 2004 813
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(518): View more from New York

The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.

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(773): View more from Illinois

his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him

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(512): View more from Texas

I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed

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