3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize