I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
