Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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