I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
