I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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