i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
