You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
