chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
please come you make the beer taste better
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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