At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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