I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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