Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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