so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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