I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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