the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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