and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
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You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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