I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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