Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
