dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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