i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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