I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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