loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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