The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Non-Jews are for practice
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Randomize
