I love having hate sex.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
