so explain again why im purple
no
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
