She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
